Entries for August, 2005
Well, what can I say?! Hmm... I'm finishing my essay for english. it's a bit quirky but it'll do. This is not something big for but please bear with my ignorance. First timer kasi, eh...
{ music } Stay by Quesche
{ book } The Grey King
{ show } Movies
{ mood } thoughtful
adzu midterms just ended. to all you guys, check out my journal at tabulas.com. this post will be about my classmates and schoolmates at adzu.
Raiza Abubakar-her essay entitled "who's different" won an award given by the phil. daily inquirer. it was made two years ago. the essay is at my tabulas if you want to check it out. she bought harry potter and the half-blood prince for me. i owe her my sanity.
Grant Palmer-exchange student, 19 and from pennsylvania. he has curly hair and a very dreadful accent. gwapo siya kaya ok lang.
Bandhar Sunga-joined the international mathematical olympiad held in india. he's from fil-turk hs he literally eats numbers. grabe!
Mervin Chiong and Sheryl Pearl Tan-owners of YC Sales aka Eveready.
Lee Kong Chien-i don't know if i spelled his name right. ask marion for the correct one. he owns george bakery and CM internet cafe. Cute siya.
Kim Richard Pichel-orsem king '05. according to the chicom, smart siya. complete package, di ba?
Aaron Go-gwapo rin pero taken na.
Martin Paul Lim-the only gwapo in bsac1-a, our section, in my opinion.
Xavier Bunag, Godz and Riggs-the boys from our leadership training back in second year. X is gwapo as ever.
Tara Mae Torres-very smart. probably the most eligible to have with honors in the future. very gifted in accounting.
Joyce Marie Nono- cute, chinky-eyed girl cousin of Ella delos Reyes. one of my first friends here.
Rowil Sanggayan-pretty much like Darrel but no one could beat the original, right?
Frenissa Riconalla-she spent the June at admu as in ateneo de manila but dropped out and went to adzu instead. grabe di ba? discrimination is intolerable daw.
Liezl Erika Francisco-reminds me of Rahma Asjali. very nice girl.
Kristel Natividad-very noisy and funny. she is a good example of a babaeng bakla. next sem di na kami classmates kasi MA na.
this guys made my stay at ateneo worthwile. they made me not regret not going to UP. kayo naman, tell me more about your new friends and why they rock.
{ music } The Day You Said Goodbye by Hale
{ book } The Grey King by Susan Cooper
{ show } Johnny Depp
{ mood } full
 |
IT'S summertime again and I greet the humid heat of Zamboanga City with the familiarity of an old friend. My days are spent in front of the television, the piano, or the computer. But none of these can entertain me.
Last summer wasn't quite as boring. In fact, it was a revelation for me. For only the third time in my whole life, my family and I went to Jolo, Sulu, where my grandparents own some property by the sea. We spent our summer vacation in a place that has the reputation for being one of the 10 most dangerous places on earth.
Being there was like living a dream. It wasn't like the way the media described it. All that I saw was the reality of who I was and of my heritage. It was stunning. The place could induce fear, sadness and an odd sense of belonging from deep inside of me. But most of all, it brought up old memories and thoughts that I had tried to put behind me.
My past life has been a struggle to fit in, but never seeming to be able to do so. When I was four years old, I went to a nice school near our village in Quezon City. Unknown to me, I was the only Muslim student there. Of course, as time went by, the people got used to my being Muslim and stopped asking me about it. Still I remember days when some of my classmates would ask me if I had smelly feet because I was a Muslim.
Thinking about it now, it seems amusing and childish, but looking back, I can remember that the question made me resent my religion.
There were times when I tried to hide behind pretense. When people asked me if I was a Muslim, I would answer yes, but add that I didn't know how to act like one, as if that would make the situation better.
Once I had a conversation with my friends in Grade 6 about religion. They were talking about being Catholic and Christian, and comparing how they acted while they were in church. One girl said you only needed to be good and love God. Finally, they asked me how we practiced our religion. I answered that like them, we also needed to be good and to love God.
Do you know what she said? She told me that I probably said it because I had heard it first from her.
I couldn't believe it. It was a mortifying experience for me. At 12, it was becoming an ordeal to belong to my faith.
When I was a high school sophomore, we moved to Zamboanga City. It was comforting to know that my name wouldn't sound as odd as it did in Manila. School for me was all right. No one treated me like I was different and there were no discussions or arguments about religion. I finally felt normal.
But there are still awkward moments when some guy would ask, "How does it feel to be Muslim?" or "How does it feel being the only Muslim girl in your class?"
I don't answer such questions because I don't think there's an answer. There is no special feeling attached to being the only Muslim girl in class, because it isn't a big deal. Some people make it such a big deal because they've got this enormous bias in their heads that says: "Muslims=Abu Sayyaf=al-Qaida."
Worse, some people actually have to gall to ask me directly if I'm a terrorist! And that is definitely offensive to me.
Some people even confuse faith with culture. Because of my name, people expect me to be able to speak Tausug. Unfortunately, I don't because I grew up in Manila. So, I've heard people saying that I'm not really Muslim because I can't speak Tausug. I even got into an argument with a guy who insisted that I was only pretending that I couldn't speak Tausug! It's so frustrating, really.
My parents brought me up to be polite and nice to others. So I don't talk back; neither do I make comments that would make other people feel bad. But sometimes I get really upset when people treat me like I could only be second-rate because of my religion.
Now I return to my memory of being in Jolo. Who am I? Do I even know the answer to that question? I'm just a normal teenager who likes books, plays the piano and loves to write. Does being a Muslim make me very different from other girls of my age? Does that give others the right to ask me awkward questions so that they can satisfy their curiosity?
I have a religion, and maybe so do you. How different does that make us from each other?
Raiza Katrina Abubakar, 15, is an incoming fourth year high school student at the Ateneo de Zamboanga University.
{ music } I'm Falling for You by Jamie Rivera
{ book } The Grey King by Susan Cooper
{ show } Johnny Depp
{ mood } unsatisfied
I had a blast in our beach picnic today. Only five scholars attended and two of our kuya's joined us. It was super fun. Kuya Rhey-Nan is as funny as ever. It wouldn't be as fun if it he wasn't there. By the way, it was held at La Vista. Hindi me nakapunta sa Acquaintance Party kahapon so this was some kind of redemption... I sound over, don't I?
{ music } MYMP
{ book } The Grey King by Susan Cooper
{ mood } rejuvenated
To the BNHS Batch '05 IV-Rizal,
Elow...
Jayke, I miss your intoxicating laugh. I miss the only person in this world who doesn't have a problem. I know Nina will love you constantly... kahit sa pangarap man lang...
Vick, I miss your panggigigil. I miss your pinching and squeezing... with your wrinkly hands. I know you will beat Yugi someday but learn that Magic the Gathering is better...
Da, I miss your kakulitan and mad sense of things. I miss the suabe moves and cool grooves. I know you find and have what your looking for...
Ton, I miss our good conversations. I miss the "WINSTON Period" of high school... I know there was time... I know you will be appreciated...
Reyn, I miss your letters. I miss the sight of you and the idea that your always here physically. I know we will have a better friendship though we're apart...
Caing, I miss your Non-comformist and straightforward ways. I miss your company, qomh
. I know you will be loved for the great and sexy girl that you are...
Rhams, I miss your one-liners. I miss the "pilopsopo" of the sect. I know Pooh and Co. will make you an honorary resident of the Hundred Acre Wood...
Gie, I miss your you. I miss hanging out your house - watch a movie and eat. I know you will be able to watch PBA and Nba live someday...
Jam, I miss your enthusiasm. I miss the hugging ang clobbering. I know someday you'll understand that certain people like to associate themselves with people who don't appreciate or even like them but they're happy with it... just like me...
Sham, I miss your naivete and ignorance. I miss your sheer memory and brilliance. I know you will get the hang of UPLB... three months na no, pabor lang...
Lizette
{ music } Aircon buzzing
{ book } The Alchemist
{ show } ---
{ mood } pissed
Accounting is a subject I'm having a difficult time with... I got 83... Imagine that, the lowest grade I had in my life... I have to stick with an 85-88 for the scholarship so I have to study double time and the lessons aren't helping... I want to scream... Argh... Nursing seems okay to most of my high school classmates, most of them got into the course for the money after (don't be hypocrites)... Engineering is just starting so I guess not much... They're all not studying odd subjects, odd because we didn't study them in high school... they just have inorganic chemistry and the like... Philo and Humanities are just like Religion and MAPEH... Acctg201 A and B is having a really hard time while C and D are swinging it out, they have removals and very easy exams... We're the first section, why do they do that... It's so unfair... To you who contradict I say this... Why won't you try a dose and let me see you crumble into minute pieces not visible to the naked eye... I'm over-reacting but bear with me... huhuhu... I just want to let this out... Six chapters more... Three months left... Finals coming up... I think I'm going mental so I better stop this now...
{ music } --- ---
{ book } The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } infuriated
To give you more insights of how my life is here, I'll give you a glimpse of my instructors--people who could make or break my future life aside from myself id est...
>> Elizabeth Parreno - Acctg201: very good and humorous teacher.
>> Rey Reyes - Math101: not bad.
>> Joey Neil Canaya - Eng111n: young but knows what's he's doing.
>> Evelynda Campos - Fil111n: scary... sometimes lang.
>> Aleli Saavedra - Mgt101: no-nonsense stick-to-rules teacher.
>> Roosevelt Itum - Bio101: biological philosophist
>> Ted Paredes - FFP101: nice teacher but a very strict exam-giver.
That's all I can say for now. Baka kasi you know na...
{ music } --- ---
{ book } The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } scared
I am studying at Ateneo de Zamboanga University but I come from Isabela City, Basilan. I always say I'm from Basilan... guess I just want to see people's expression when they here about it. I love Basilan. I appreciate every inch of it. Pearl, my classmate who is from there too but studied at Zamboanga Chiong Hua HS asked me once, "Can you call Basilan a civilized place?" I felt awful. I wanted to pull her gut inside out but my feelings prevented me too. I was so horrified to even say anything. Well, if the opportunity was still there I would have defended my beloved Basilan. I don't care what people think about my homeland. They're just too ignorant and I pity them just like Nightcrawler... I'm not mad at Pearl, I don't even think she cares if I feel that way... I just felt bad because of all people, I least expected her to say that because she knows the place...
{ music } --- ---
{ book } The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho
{ show } --- ---
Just finished recordind my assignment for Fil111n-K--Ms. Campos. It came out clear naman so I'm quite happy about it. I wrote a poem entitled, "Misteryo". It's about myself--deranged, cynical and radical self. I won't post it here... I'll leave it to the poets. I also wrote a play of some sort. It's entitled. "Pagpapatawad at Pagbabago". So cliche, 'di ba? Well, I ran out of ideas na kasi. I also recorded in a song. the title is "Hesus" and its sung by Alamid. At least, I'm still keeping up with the other gens. I was supposed to watch "calendar Girls" but I have to finish this assignment pa kasi. I'm finished with it and now I'm free to write my journal na...
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } relaxed
I read the following books last week. What a very rejuvenating experience it was. I read "The Alchemist" by Paolo Coelho. It was marvelous, a very worthwhile read. I also read "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. It broke my heart.
The Alchemist--
>> All things are one.
>> Maktub... It is written.
More next time... Didn't bring the books kasi. 
Tuesdays with Morrie--
Next time na rin... Nakalimutan ko notes ko e... hehehe.
I'm currently into classics now so bye muna sa fantasy... Next time ulit. There will be a next time.
{ book } Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
{ mood } blah
Lizette's past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were female in your last earthly incarnation.
You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Northern England around the year 1725.
Your profession was that of a digger, undertaker.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Person with huge energy, good in planning and supervising. If you were just garbage-man, you were chief garbage-man.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
You are bound to solve problems of pollution of environment, recycling, misuse of raw materials, elimination of radioactivity by all means including psychological methods.
This is from http://thebigview.com/pastlife/.
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } weird
I'm halfway through reading "Pride and Prejudice". Love is such a puzzling thing, isn't it? Especially when men are involved.
I slept for four hours yesterday afternoon. Very relaxing. I woke up and continued reading Jane Austen's second novel.
Historical romances always made me wonder about men in general.
Men are important. Love them... hate them... nonetheless you need them. Let's not be hypocrites, ladies...
I made waffles last night. I love eating... yum. 
Since my friends don't answer my pleas, I just thought of this journal as a way of communicating to myself. Talk about madness... 
I really hope my friends would hear me though, don't you of your friends. Nah... i bet you don't have much problems with your friends as I do...
Till next time...
{ music } Yes Yes Show
{ book } Pride and Prejudice
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } crazy
Although the name Lizette creates the urge to be original and self-reliant, we emphasize that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a moody disposition. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses heart, lungs, bronchial area, and tension or accidents to the head.
Your first name of Lizette has given you a studious nature, and the ability to concentrate on whatever you are doing. You could excel in mathematics or in positions where persistence, independence, and individuality are required. In personal associations, a lack of finesse in verbal expression often creates misunderstandings with others, especially with those close to you, because you find it difficult and embarrassing to express depth of feeling when situations arise requiring diplomacy, understanding, and affection.
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Pride and Prejudice
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } thoughtful
I'm really pissed today... 
I can't just tell, else I'm doomed... 
I can make it a private journal entry though... argh... 
Journal entries...
Special journals...
Ledgers...
Posting...
Debits...
Credits...
I just hate it... well not the subject... else I could shift...
I don't want to shift...
Don't you just hate it when the most amiable person turns out to be the most humiliating kind...
The darling turned into hateling (just invented it!)...
Argh... 
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Pride and Prince... hehehe
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } pissed
Et cetera...
Id est...
Carpe diem...
Wala lang... last blog ent... out...
{ music } --- ---
{ book } --- ---
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } off