Entries for December, 2005
Forgive me but I wrote it in French. Enjoy. Take care. Bring a hard copy of your work. See me ASAP. I'm mental!
J'ai observé "la prochaine porte de fille" la nuit passée. Quel film imprévisible ! Venez pour penser à lui... le hmmm. Est le jus en valeur la compression ? ! Non ce grand un film mais pas mat non plus. Je ne me suis jamais senti ennuyeux, pas même fait me le regard alors. J'ai développé un fétiche pour les films et le Français cette semaine. Pensez que j'ai obtenu la fièvre de FRE. Hehehe...
La fiesta d'Ateneo plus de. Elle n'est pas beaucoup vraiment. Ne vous a jamais senti... savoir ce que veux dire je. La semaine prochaine sera une déception, je vous disent. Le lundi, nous avons un jeu sur le troisième chapitre de la comptabilité 221. Dieu ! ('accès désolé qui juste ne peut pas l'aider.) Ma'am Sumayang est un tueur. Pour ne pas mentionner mon professeur de l'anglais 112. Il EST tellement brutalement honnête ! Ses propres mots. Je n'ai joint aucun sport. Si vous me connaissez, il des expositions sûres. Hehehe... Je vais à Basilan le dimanche. Jamais volonté je ne l'appelle encore à la maison. Mon coeur est brisé dans million de morceaux. Et ils disent, maison est où le coeur est...
I can't even understand a single thing while I try reading it again but I'll manage. Hope you will too.
Jusqu'à la fois prochaine. Fleur sera heureux. J'aime roman, France est si idéal quand il vient à roman. Je le recherche. Espoir il viendra. Vraiment, je ne m'inquiète pas des immenses chagrins. Je m'inquiète seulement de l'amour. Laissez votre coeur être rempli de lui. Au revoir !
{ music } Gunbound
{ book } Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (can't get enough of!)
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } mental
Another Pot of Magical Treats and Feats
“Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire” has the intensity and emotion of the book it’s based from. In its totality, it has all the ingredients of a good fantasy adventure motion picture—a very gratifying story, raw and fresh main actors, a veteran stellar support cast, fantastic special effects and even a bunch of life’s lessons for its viewers. It’s very funny and wondrous. It casts us in a spell both true and imaginary. It weaves reality with a flick of a wand—a truly magical feeling.
The story shows us in effect three fourteen year old kids struggling through puberty—first love, adventure, danger and even death which is the central theme of the entire book series. There are a number of inconsistencies and differences with the film and the book. Though it is so, it didn’t murder the book at all. It made the film very concise and enjoyable unlike the first two movies which seem longer than they really are. It didn’t stray from the original plot. Instead, it highlighted the more important scenes like the Triwizard Tournament wherein three chosen champions from three schools of magic will compete in three amazing and impossible tasks, the accompanying Yule Ball, and the very satisfying climax everyone I am sure is waiting to see. Aside from the extreme intensity, the movie also offers emotional prowess. It has many cute and funny scenes which balances the very dramatic climax. All in all, it’s a very enjoyable movie that offers great all-around entertainment.
Since the beginning of the Warner Bros. deal, J.K. Rowling made it clear that she wanted only British actors to play her beloved characters. Many where skeptical about this idea but the movies that followed proved the skeptics wrong. The movies created new stars. “Goblet of Fire” established the three new stars status in Hollywood further. Daniel Radcliffe IS Harry Potter. I can’t imagine any other actor to fit the role more than him. Emma Watson and Rupert Grint who play the roles of Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley respectively are not that bad either. They have proved their worth in the roles that they play. I especially love the love-hate angle between their characters. The support cast is awesome. Alan Rickman is such a good actor especially when he portrays villain roles. In the “Goblet of Fire” though, Rickman seems to drive far from his character Severus Snape’s nature. Director Mike Newell added a scene where Snape knocks the heads of Harry and Ron with books when they were caught talking to each other. This is very British Boarding School but it is very un-Snape-like. Snape uses words and detention and not anything physical to provoke and torment Harry. Like Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane and various others reprise their roles for the movie. Sir Michael Gambon who replaced Sir Richard Harris as Professor Albus Dumbledore proves to be very adept in his role as Hogwarts Headmaster and Harry’s mentor. Ralph Fiennes is one of the additional actors in the set. He plays the very important and much-disliked Lord Voldemort, the arch nemesis of Harry Potter. He is so unrecognizable on screen. The slithering sight of him made me cringe at my seat and gave me a feeling that he is Lord Voldemort, merciless and snake-like in every way. The whole cast should be all praised for their effortless acting on screen.
The scenes of the three tasks in the Triwizard Tournament are intensely rich in special effects making each look as real as they’re supposed to be. The entire production is more tangible and is more successful in making the viewers feel like they’re at Hogwarts than the first two movies. It is so magnanimous yet the movie is still effective in focusing more on Harry and the rest of the cast as they come of age and evolve. It is a well-balanced movie where the larger-than-life production sets and the story of a fourteen-year-old orphan coming of age complement each other.
The movie like the book gives us insights on things we can relate to in life. It shows us the importance of international cooperation because of the diversity of races and cultures within our surroundings. Another strong message that the movie imparts can be quoted from the words of Albus Dumbledore. He said, “Dark and difficult times lie ahead… Soon we must all face the choice between what is right… and what is easy.” Dark and difficult time may lie ahead for us and we should all make a choice. It is not always easy when we choose to do what is right but I believe we can always find solace in doing it. There is more to the movie than special effects and large production sets. It gives us something important to think over.
“Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire” is a collage of many stories, actors, feelings, sets, special effects and lessons—many different things that form one beautiful picture. It has a very wonderful story that is played by actors in utmost perfection in very grand production set with illustrious special effects coupled by a lesson or two. Tell me, what is more magical than that?
** Hope this paper will pass Sir Ben's critical eye.
{ music } radio
{ book } HPHBP
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } hopeful
Saturday, 12-03-05, merienda time...
<transcript written on thirteen pieces of 1/4 paper in blue HBW
2000 ballpen>
"When all else fail, would you be brave to see right through
me?"
I'm sitting at side of St. Iggy's statue listening to the reverberating radio [currently playing "Cruisin'"]. My head is cruisin' away from my assignments due on Monday. Oh, my last day of freedom. I'm going home tomorrow and coming back the day after. Isn't that absurd and pathetic? I'm stupid so I don't really think so. Not really (stupid). I feel I can't last [“Get Me”] another day without listening to Christmas songs especially Jose Mari Chan's in the component back home.
I'm insane. I'm all alone. I'm used to being alone. Usually I talk to myself but I don't think it's convenient since there are people in the next kiosk. Maybe next time. [“Fallin'”] Come to think of it, who cares?! The only classmates I've seen so far are Genebel and Michael. [“Tell me Where it Hurts”] [“Suntok sa Buwan”]
I came to school early, mga 9:00 AM because nagkablack-out sa San Roque and staying home was a drag. So here I am doing nothing productive so far in the past week. Well, there's the essay but let me not delve on that. There's not much people nor food in Ateneo compared to yesterday and the days before. Ateneo Fiesta was dead even before it started. It's a matter of opinion and mine is just that. [“You First Believe”]
I saw Sir Joey around nung Fiesta. English is the only subject where we get to call teachers by Sir and their first name like Sir Ben now. We never get to call Ma'am Parreno as Ma'am Beth. I think no one would even dare. [“Falling”- the latest]
I'm staying at the kiosk so that I'll stay away from the food. If I don't have anything to do I eat. Not a good habit. Delayed gratification... nothing. It just came out of the blue. Tsk. Tsk. Brain malfunction. Unreasonable thoughts. Slow.
I like the HBW 2000 pen. Nice ink. Cheap pa.
I have P170 in my pocket and my ATM has P100. In short, I'm broke. I'm afraid to eat because eating means spending money and when I'll overspend I'll have to walk from Ateneo to San Roque and swim from Zamboanga to Basilan. The mere thought is weakening.
I saw Jessica Zafra [“Hari ng Sablay”] in a movie. I only watched it until Zafra showed up which was early so never got to see the whole movie.
I'm happy at Ateneo but unsatisfied. I keep on thinking there is some way out of it and I want out. I consider MSU-IIT, UP, XU-ADCU, ADMU even Harvrd and Georgetown. Grrr... I'm insane really. I hate my ambivalence but the feeling, you know. [“I'll Be Over You”]
I can't afford to stop writing else I'll be tempted to eat. It's bad to eat daw according to Cristina. LOGIC: People sin as long as they live. When people eat, the longer they'll live, the longer they'll sin. Don't mind it.
{ music } aircon
{ book } Life of Pi
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } jealous
to continue...
Sir Ted and his daughter is passing by., ["Goodbye"]
Lyndie said hello and is sitting at the next kiosk to my right. I'm on the fifth kiosk from the pathway of Gate 2.
Kenny is passing by as well as some alumni making their way to Carlos Dominguez Conference Hall for some awarding.
Ma'am Sumayang made it impossible for me to go home. She's horrific sometimes but compensation is very good so It pays to stay.
It's obvious I don't have a cellphone, ain't it? I think three or four months na. ["Kahit Na"] I have 0 social life (aside from my friends, of course). Now without my cellphone it's -273. It's not a big deal really but having one isn't bad.
My PE dance partner, Robin is passing by. FYI, they're passing behind me. Go figure.
Ford is passing by.
Ma'am Campos went into the college building.
The number of people in the kiosks ia building up.
The little girl I saw before I started writing this just got lost. She was supposed to be baby-sitted by a nursing student. The baby-sitter I saw was texting her way to oblivion and the little girl runs about the college building unnoticed by the stupid sitter. No wonder she will get lost. People! ["From the Inside"]
["Somewhere I Belong"] I got lost in my empty thoughts for a few minutes.
Sir Ben is passing by. A new found past time--writing. HA!
I guess I'll walk around a bit, check out the time perhaps. It's 3:20 PM. Alpha is playing table-tennis. Kittey is at a table with friends. Kish passed by. Jan Paolo said hi.
" Sometimes... love comes when you least expect it."
It's
a very true movie, true in the sense that love is implicit, the only
people who understand it are the ones it holds together.
Accident
On live concert hall, lighting director, In-su (BAE Yong-joon) leaves
the hall in a hurry putting the concert in charge of his junior worker.
Then in a hallway at a hospital operation room in Samcheok, Kangwon-do,
he meets Seo-young (SON Ye-jin). The reason he went there is a car
accident of his wife, Su-jin (LIM Sang-hyo). Also, Seo-young’s husband,
Kyung-ho (RYU Seung-su), was in the car with her.
Betrayal
While Su-jin and Kyung-ho are in unconsciousness by serious injury,
In-su and Seo-young realize that Su-jin and Kyung-ho are in ‘special
relationship’ on settling the accident. For In-su and Seo-young, it is
harder to accept than the fatal accident. Love becomes confusion,
anger, and betrayal. While they pray for their spouses’ peaceful
recovery even though they blame for it, the two people fell each
other’s existence slowly.
Chaos
In a motel in front of the hospital, the two people start long term
stay and meet each other again and again. Eventually, they fall in love
spending their time together. Even they were confused by their spouses’
betrayal, now they experience the same pain their spouses did as they
fall into the same situation.
At this time, Su-jin comes back to consciousness. In-su cannot look
away from his wife shedding tears. While looking at In-su, Seo-young
realizes that it is time to go back to their own places. Then, they
prepare for going out, which might be the last time, only for the two.
So why "April Snow" as the title? Watch the movie. It may leave you hanging but... it's April Snow. Go figure.
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Life of Pi
{ show } April Snow
{ mood } enthralled
I'm coming home tomorrow. (FYI: The trip from Zamboanga to Isabela takes about 45 minutes in a fastcraft and 180 minutes in a boat.) I don't know what I feel about it. Guess I'll know tomorrow.
I've read my children's books I bought at Shop-O na. I was so deliriously happy when I bought them. Can you imagine they're only P10.00 each? What a bargain! I'm really falling in love with E.L. Konigsburg. "A View from Saturday" and "From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" are very satisfying. I bought so many Judy Blume's. I don't know why but I've grown a fetish for children's books this year and to think I'm turning eighteen in a month. Grrr... I don't feel my age. To sum it up, I think, childhood is ageless.
I finished writing my letter to Reyner, my bestfriend. We share the same birthday. I'll mail it to him this week. It's so old age but I love writing letters. I have a very nice penmanship that an e-mail can't show. I don't think I'll post it here. Not that it's personal or anything. It's quite long and encoding is tiresome. LOL. I love you, blinkie!
Ahye gave me a Laugh-A-Lot CareBear for kris kringle. My new pet looks like this but cuter.
| There's always something funny going on wherever Laugh-a-lot Bear is. This silly bear gets everything mixed up but turns her little misfortunes and mistakes into lots of laughter for others. Her symbol shows what she really is—a star at giving others the giggles. | |
 | |
| Caring Mission: | Helps people laugh. |
| Symbol: | Laugh-a-lot Bear's laughing star shows that she is a star at starting laughter. |
| Personality: | Silly and giggly. |
| Character Quirk: | She has a magically contagious giggle that can make others laugh for no real reason. |
| Color: | Orange. |
| Best Friend: | Love-a-lot Bear |
| Relationship Challenge: | She likes Funshine Bear, but oddly, she never seems to get his jokes. |
| Motto: | Get some giggles going! |
I think I'll buy Love-A-Lot para may makasama na siya. She's a she. I always thought Laugh-A-Lot is a He. Nevermind.
**Thanks to care-bears.com
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret.
{ show } Book Covers
{ mood } sore
I'm in my island since two days ago.
I met up with my high school friends--Marion, Earl, Jacob, Angie and Reyner. We had so much to catch up to. I didn't get to talk to Reyner about his new girlfriend. Actually we never talk about anything personal. We're like silent partners for eight or ten years now. Since we didn't get to talk, I texted him last night, asking him many things. I got bad feedbacks about his girlfriend. By the way, her name's Claire Suarez. I really don't care so long as Reyner loves her and she makes him happy. Marion keeps on hinting that Reyner chooses stupid girls as girlfriends and that it's okay since Reyner's smart naman. Big Deal! Most of his crushes are dumb din naman. I forgot to bring my letter to Reyner, the one I wrote last 17th December. I'll give it to him next time na lang siguro when I get to.
We're preparing for the Caltex Christmas Party later this night. My Pop told me I will be emcee. Nah, I'm too boring! I want to be the videographer, I always get to be the videographer.
Grrr... I didn't get to watch "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros". Guess I'll have to rent na lang or buy the VCD/DVD.
I got my "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" na. I let my friends borrow Book VI.
I get to meet Lace Anne here at Basilan on the 27th, hopefully. We're going to Zamboanga on the 23rd for shopping. Talk about being late! Hahaha...
{ music } humming
{ book } Charming Billy
{ show } Mystic River
{ mood } thoughtful
At 9:00 AM, we arrived at Zamboanga for our Christmas shopping. By 12:45 PM, we were back in Basilan. Three hours of agony, callouses, tired feet and vertigo.
At long last, I saw Jamie na. She was also shopping at Mindpro when I saw her. I also saw Ella, Joyce's cousin. I guess, she was also shopping.
My father is having a hard time with his phone. He doesn't know how to retrieve the messages sent to him. I don't know either so I'm no help. I know Che knows but then it's the 24th. Why bother?!
I'm tired but I still got so many things to do before Christmas Eve.
I still don't know what to buy Reyner for his birthday. I'm confused. It's hard to give him presents yet it's not. Here I go again. Arsh!
I LOVE my CareBear SO MUCH! Ahye, thanks a million. Make that a zillion, if there is such a thing.
I'm just thinking if I'll still receive presents for Christmas. I doubt it. I would love to receive gifts though, who doesn't? Oh, filthy hypocrites!
I'll be eighteen on January 6th. Yikes, I'm old! Forget about my birthday. It's Christmas, Jesus' birthday. It's more important anyway!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
HAVE A YUMMY NOCHE BUENA!
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Charming Billy
{ show } Paycheck
{ mood } tired
Christmas at our house was really nothing much. We ate our Noche Buena and slept. No more, no less. It's like any other ordinary day plus getting to eat scrumptious dishes at midnight. Darn!
The day after, which means today was nothing much either. The most productive thing I did today was giving out Caltex shirts to the public drivers in Isabela. They were so unruly like the shirts were some manna from heaven. Geez!
I watched several movies yesterday and today. Watching movies has become my favorite past time. I also read a few pages of "Charming Billy" and a few chapters of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". I got it back already after a year of lending. Joyce will be happy. Hurt 'yo!
I was supposed to do the following yet got bored to do them: 1. Visit Clariz.; 2. Deposit money at the Bank. (It's a holiday pala!); 3. Do my project--visit the lending companies. Bummer!
I watched "The Perfect Score" a few hours ago. Nothing, just want to say it. FYI: Scarlett Johansson is Daniel Radcliffe's crush.
I'm thinking of writing a love story. I'm so crazy I can't write on it because I'm plagued by plagiarism and it being typical. A nightmare!
I already thought of a name for my beloved CareBear. It will be "Tookie" until I find a name more appropriate, significant and cute. Tutukiki Tookie!
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Charming Billy
{ show } The Perfect Score
{ mood } bored
Obviously, I got this art from DeviantArt. I found it cute. It's two days late though.
{ music } shouts
{ book } Charming Billy
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } creative
Everything--FeFe Dobson
Ayo ladadayo
Ayo ladadayo ladeeda
Sometimes I give in to sadness
Sometimes I don't
Doo doo doo doo
At times I'm part of the madness
Sometimes I won't
Give in to you
You see in a way
I have been drifting down a river
To nowhere
And you've given me nothing
But if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
Ladeeda ayo
ladadayo ladeeda
At times I feel myself smiling
At times I'm not
Doo doo doo doo
Yeah yay
What's with the guilt that you styling baby
Talk don't look good on you
You see in a way
I have been looking for a reason to go there
And you're leading me nowhere
And if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
Ladeeda ayo
ladadayo ladeeda
Are you waiting for a special occasion
To give me your heart
Cause I need a little confirmation
To make a real start
Don't wait till it's too late
Are you ready to show me?
Are you ready to love me?
You see in a way
I have been drifting down a river
To nowhere
And you're giving me nothing
And if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever this time
And if you're ready to be
Ready to be my everything
And if you're ready to see it through this time
If you're ready for love then baby
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait forever this time
ladayo ladadayo ladeeda
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Charming Billy
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } still creative
I was looking at pictures of Pupung, my friend and his new found friends in Dumaguete. I got jealous, oh, so jealous! It made me feel I'm missing something so great. My new found friends are the best.There's nothing wrong with them but there's totally something wrong with me. Sigh! I really feel I need to see a psychiatrists somehow. I've been thinking about seeing a psychiatrist since I was eight but never got to do it anyway. Grr... I'm not contented with my life right now. I feel it's so lame, so normal, so ordinary, so standard. I want it to be different. Some say real life situations are better or say more dramatic or funnier than what you see in television shows and movies but my life ain't so. It's completely bland. Maybe, it's because I compare it to other people's lives. I got it, right? How can you stop this human infernal behavior?! This is worse than looking for reasons in everything. I feel I don't belong in Ateneo de Zamboanga University. You understand me, the "destined for greatness" thingy?! I always wish that I get a study grant in some prestigious university in the country or better yet in other countries like Japan or the US. I know it's a long shot, it's not even a shot at all. This is my dream and I want it so badly! I really love to work at New York City, my dream workplace. You know, getting to visit Central Park, Times Square, Broadway and the Statue of Liberty. I don't want to look at snow or taste it, if your thinking that the reason I want to go is just because it's winter there now. I really don't care for snow, it's pathetic. It's the place that I'm after. I just can't get no satisfaction. I don't understand me at all. Sarsche!
I'm thinking of a love story. Here it is, the first part.
It's another boring party my father is invited to. You may think it's okay to stay, be the patient little girl waiting for Daddy to finish his ministrations. Well, he's invited to so many being the diplomat that he is and there's nothing more of my patience left. I considered leaving. And being the rebel that I am I thought of very unconventional way, I will go down the balcony. It was only two floors high and with a considerable amount of vines to support me. I hate being stuck in parties in a dress. talking about my dress, it made it very difficult to go down. I was halfway when i heard a voice. Oh, dear.
"Are you okay, miss? Grab my hand, I'll help you up."
Great, just great. A moron to spice up my boring evening.
That was about it. I keep on bumping a wall after the first part. I couldn't seem to continue. It's depressing.
I just met up with Lace yesterday. We had fun. I'm supposed to be making the presentation now or even finish my accounting assignments. Arsh! Next week, I'll be back at Ateneo. We will have mid-terms already by the second week. Pressure's piling!
I'm drooling over "Only You". The story is so cute. The story is what my lost thoughts seem to tell. Har har! I LURV it!
{ music } I'd Do Anything
{ book } Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
{ show } Only You
{ mood } envious
I've known Edgar Allan Poe for about eight years now. I read him in a book my dad gave me. Sadly, Earl lost the book. Thankfully, I never lost him. I love Edgar because of his madness or as i call it genius. His love for his wife is surmountable only through his poems. My favorite is "The Tell-Tale Heart", a very wonderful declamation piece in my opinion.
The Tell-Tale Heart
Edgar Allan Poe
True! nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses, not destroyed, not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. How then am I mad? Hearken! and observe how healthily, how calmly, I can tell you the whole story.
It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain, but, once conceived, it haunted me day and night. Object there was none. Passion there was none. I loved the old man. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think it was his eye! Yes, it was this! One of his eyes resembled that of a vulture a pale blue eye with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me my blood ran cold, and so by degrees, very gradually, I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye for ever.
Now this is the point. You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded with what caution, with what foresight, with what dissimulation, I went to work! I was never kinder to the old man than during the whole week before I killed him. And every night about midnight I turned the latch of his door and opened it oh, so gently! And then, when I had made an opening sufficient for my head, I put in a dark lantern all closed, closed so that no light shone out, and then I thrust in my head. Oh, you would have laughed to see how cunningly I thrust it in! I moved it slowly, very, very slowly, so that I might not disturb the old man's sleep. It took me an hour to place my whole head within the opening so far that I could see him as he lay upon his bed. Ha! would a madman have been so wise as this? And then when my head was well in the room I undid the lantern cautiously oh, so cautiously cautiously (for the hinges creaked), I undid it just so much that a single thin ray fell upon the vulture eye. And this I did for seven long nights, every night just at midnight, but I found the eye always closed, and so it was impossible to do the work, for it was not the old man who vexed me but his Evil Eye. And every morning, when the day broke, I went boldly into the chamber and spoke courageously to him, calling him by name in a hearty tone, and inquiring how he had passed the night. So you see he would have been a very profound old man, indeed , to suspect that every night, just at twelve, I looked in upon him while he slept.
Upon the eighth night I was more than usually cautious in opening the door. A watch's minute hand moves more quickly than did mine. Never before that night had I felt the extent of my own powers, of my sagacity. I could scarcely contain my feelings of triumph. To think that there I was opening the door little by little, and he not even to dream of my secret deeds or thoughts. I fairly chuckled at the idea, and perhaps he heard me, for he moved on the bed suddenly as if startled. Now you may think that I drew back -- but no. His room was as black as pitch with the thick darkness (for the shutters were close fastened through fear of robbers), and so I knew that he could not see the opening of the door, and I kept pushing it on steadily, steadily.
I had my head in, and was about to open the lantern, when my thumb slipped upon the tin fastening , and the old man sprang up in the bed, crying out, "Who's there?"
I kept quite still and said nothing. For a whole hour I did not move a muscle, and in the meantime I did not hear him lie down. He was still sitting up in the bed, listening; just as I have done night after night hearkening to the death watches in the wall.
Presently, I heard a slight groan, and I knew it was the groan of mortal terror. It was not a groan of pain or of grief -- oh, no! It was the low stifled sound that arises from the bottom of the soul when overcharged with awe. I knew the sound well. Many a night, just at midnight, when all the world slept, it has welled up from my own bosom, deepening, with its dreadful echo, the terrors that distracted me. I say I knew it well. I knew what the old man felt, and pitied him although I chuckled at heart. I knew that he had been lying awake ever since the first slight noise when he had turned in the bed. His fears had been ever since growing upon him. He had been trying to fancy them causeless, but could not. He had been saying to himself, "It is nothing but the wind in the chimney, it is only a mouse crossing the floor," or, "It is merely a cricket which has made a single chirp." Yes he has been trying to comfort himself with these suppositions ; but he had found all in vain. All in vain, because Death in approaching him had stalked with his black shadow before him and enveloped the victim. And it was the mournful influence of the unperceived shadow that caused him to feel, although he neither saw nor heard, to feel the presence of my head within the room.
When I had waited a long time very patiently without hearing him lie down, I resolved to open a little a very, very little crevice in the lantern. So I opened it you cannot imagine how stealthily, stealthily until at length a single dim ray like the thread of the spider shot out from the crevice and fell upon the vulture eye.
It was open, wide, wide open, and I grew furious as I gazed upon it. I saw it with perfect distinctness all a dull blue with a hideous veil over it that chilled the very marrow in my bones, but I could see nothing else of the old man's face or person, for I had directed the ray as if by instinct precisely upon the damned spot.
And now have I not told you that what you mistake for madness is but over-acuteness of the senses? now, I say, there came to my ears a low, dull, quick sound, such as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I knew that sound well too. It was the beating of the old man's heart. It increased my fury as the beating of a drum stimulates the soldier into courage.
But even yet I refrained and kept still. I scarcely breathed. I held the lantern motionless. I tried how steadily I could maintain the ray upon the eye. Meantime the hellish tattoo of the heart increased. It grew quicker and quicker, and louder and louder, every instant. The old man's terror must have been extreme! It grew louder, I say, louder every moment! do you mark me well? I have told you that I am nervous: so I am. And now at the dead hour of the night, amid the dreadful silence of that old house, so strange a noise as this excited me to uncontrollable terror. Yet, for some minutes longer I refrained and stood still. But the beating grew louder, louder! I thought the heart must burst. And now a new anxiety seized me the sound would be heard by a neighbour! The old man's hour had come! With a loud yell, I threw open the lantern and leaped into the room. He shrieked once once only. In an instant I dragged him to the floor, and pulled the heavy bed over him. I then smiled gaily, to find the deed so far done. But for many minutes the heart beat on with a muffled sound. This, however, did not vex me; it would not be heard through the wall. At length it ceased. The old man was dead. I removed the bed and examined the corpse. Yes, he was stone, stone dead. I placed my hand upon the heart and held it there many minutes. There was no pulsation. He was stone dead. His eye would trouble me no more.
If still you think me mad, you will think so no longer when I describe the wise precautions I took for the concealment of the body. The night waned, and I worked hastily, but in silence.
I took up three planks from the flooring of the chamber, and deposited all between the scantlings. I then replaced the boards so cleverly so cunningly, that no human eye not even his could have detected anything wrong. There was nothing to wash out no stain of any kind no blood-spot whatever. I had been too wary for that.
When I had made an end of these labours, it was four o'clock still dark as midnight. As the bell sounded the hour, there came a knocking at the street door. I went down to open it with a light heart, for what had I now to fear? There entered three men, who introduced themselves, with perfect suavity, as officers of the police. A shriek had been heard by a neighbour during the night; suspicion of foul play had been aroused; information had been lodged at the police office, and they (the officers) had been deputed to search the premises.
I smiled, for what had I to fear? I bade the gentlemen welcome. The shriek, I said, was my own in a dream. The old man, I mentioned, was absent in the country. I took my visitors all over the house. I bade them search search well. I led them, at length, to his chamber. I showed them his treasures, secure, undisturbed. In the enthusiasm of my confidence, I brought chairs into the room, and desired them here to rest from their fatigues, while I myself, in the wild audacity of my perfect triumph, placed my own seat upon the very spot beneath which reposed the corpse of the victim.
The officers were satisfied. My manner had convinced them. I was singularly at ease. They sat and while I answered cheerily, they chatted of familiar things. But, ere long, I felt myself getting pale and wished them gone. My head ached, and I fancied a ringing in my ears; but still they sat, and still chatted. The ringing became more distinct : I talked more freely to get rid of the feeling: but it continued and gained definitiveness until, at length, I found that the noise was not within my ears.
No doubt I now grew very pale; but I talked more fluently, and with a heightened voice. Yet the sound increased and what could I do? It was a low dull, quick sound much such a sound as a watch makes when enveloped in cotton. I gasped for breath, and yet the officers heard it not. I talked more quickly, more vehemently but the noise steadily increased. I arose and argued about trifles, in a high key and with violent gesticulations; but the noise steadily increased. Why would they not be gone? I paced the floor to and fro with heavy strides, as if excited to fury by the observations of the men, but the noise steadily increased. O God! what could I do? I foamed I raved I swore! I swung the chair upon which I had been sitting, and grated it upon the boards, but the noise arose over all and continually increased. It grew louder louder louder! And still the men chatted pleasantly , and smiled. Was it possible they heard not? Almighty God! no, no? They heard! they suspected! they knew! they were making a mockery of my horror! this I thought, and this I think. But anything was better than this agony! Anything was more tolerable than this derision! I could bear those hypocritical smiles no longer! I felt that I must scream or die! and now again hark! louder! louder! louder! Louder!
"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!
It is quite long but nevertheless a very gripping poem.
{ music } --- ---
{ book } Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
{ show } Forbidden Love
{ mood } melancholic
Drew is the greatest! She's a really good actress. I
love "Ever After", "50 First Dates" and "The Wedding Singer" to name a
few. I'm not really drooling, it just goes with Drew to make a really
good title. Well, at least I think so. 
My father told me to write down his message for a
party later evening. It's for his Tennis Club. I think the message was
so lame but I didn't say so. My dad has this huge know-it-all dominion
he likes keeping. I don't want to hurt his already bruised ego. 
I just hope he won't be able to read any of my posts. Else, I'm doomed.
I'm still thinking if I'll attend the party or
not. I hate going to his parties because the tendency is I get
out-of-place and my dad will humiliate me again for his pleasure. 
Now, who's evil?!
I hate being reprimanded because of food. It's so unhealthy. Har har. 
I
don't think of diets. I never because I'll just be depressed. I keep
thinking I'll get taller and all my riches will stretch. Therefore, ...
I still didn't do any Accounting thingy. It ruins the festive spirit. Oh, reasons! 
I'm about 30% done on the Finance thingy though. I really hope Lace got in touch with the Lamitan folks for the history.
I really don't want to attend Friday class. Grrr... 
The DDD hasn't arrived yet and I'm getting anxious and nervous. What if it won't come?! 
World War III!!!
{ music } --- ---
{ book } --- ---
{ show } --- ---
{ mood } ambivalent
I had fun at the party yestereve inspite of myself. My dad went crazy with his dancing ang singing--REALLY! LOL It started at 6:30 PM and we went home at around 12:00 AM. I'm still sleepy until now. I have this neurotic habit of waking up at around 6:30-7:00 AM even if I went to sleep late, let's say 3:00 AM. I'm really not fuzzy about Media Noche later. I keep on thinking I'll be back at Zamboanga two days from now and it's not a nice reminder. I'll have to make this quick since I'll help with the cooking. Har har We're going to the beach tomorrow. So much for my last entry for the year.
A HAPPY NEW "Doggie" YEAR TO EVERYONE!
{ music } beaters and boilers
{ book } --- ---
{ show } As Good As It Gets
{ mood } silly