Entries for April, 2006
I felt like I just died today. Yet I've felt this thing over and over that it seems I'm double or a hundred times dead, if there is such a thing. After that, I'm never reborn--I never feel alive. I'm like a zombie--dead yet alive, living yet nothing, not even close to mere existence.
Or yet.
I feel like I just malfunctioned. A malfunctioned machine--a robot. Yet I feel I need more rebooting than troublesooting. I feel I'm wrongly programmed. Better yet, like a cyborg. My humanity creeps within the wires and circuit. I feel yet I do not. I think yet there is no reason.
Somebody said that feelings are just thoughts. This bothers me a lot. If feelings are just thoughts, then we are not even remotely human. We're just like robots and zombies. We think yet without reason. Yes, feelings for me are reasons, in a very uncanny way.
This is my problem. The confusion or more specifically the clash between what I think and what I feel. It brings me to a point where I don't feel nor think. Yes, there is such a thing.
I feel I need a shrink, right now, right away. In my own diagnosis, I'm suffering from identity crisis with a mixture of a little insanity here and there.
I don't know who I am. I don't know what I want.
I feel tired. I feel like a failure.
I talk to God about being an atheist. God is my sanity yet He drives me crazy.
I hate my family. Do I even have a family? I have father who is emotionally dead. My mother is physically dead. I was never a good daughter. That is my opinion and a fact if you ask my relatives. I have an adopted brother who proves to me that you can choose not to have everything in the world. How moronic! I have half-sister who is too young to feel the pain I'm have gone through and continue to do so just because I'm illegit. Good riddance! Is this justice?
I thought it's okay to have a family that sucks. Everybody's family is dysfunctional--okay, not really. I really thought that school will do and my friends will do, too. Boom! Na-ah! They won't do. I am tired of school--it's so monotonous. It's so incomplete and unsatisfying. Partly, this paragraph is just my excuse of flunking but it is true too. Yeah!
Rai was right that I care too much. I tried hard not to but It's just it. Be selfish, she says. Embrace selfishness. I don't get it but I hope I do soon, before I think of killing myself. No, I won't be that desperate. But sometimes I don't really feel guilty of thinking that I want to. I'm just tired. Tired of hypocrisy, lies, monotony, false modesty, too mush goodness and everything.
I want chocolate. LOL
Seriously, I want God to tell me His reason of me living--my purpose because I sure will be better if i know. The world will be better. Harhar
God, I'm sick. I need psychiatric therapy.
Can't wait to see Ma'am Pen~a already. LOL
{ music } Metallica
{ book } I quit it!
{ show } A dirty wall in my room.
{ mood } and dead
I spent the last four days with my high school friends. It was nice. We now lead separate school lives but the fun that was high school is still there. I miss them terribly--the company and the cozy familiarity of the moments we relive until this day.
April 5th
Nouriza's Graduation
All Batch '05 went to our classmate, Nouriza's graduation from the same school. She went to Wisconsin for a year to study as an exchange student and went back to finish her last year. It was my first time to go back to Basilan National High School after spending my first year at Ateneo. A few things have changed like new buildings that were built but basically it was still the same. We ate lunch at her house and spent quite sometime chatting about. We went to a fiesta after. Our batch is known to be glutton. LOL We ate again. we talked about our different schools and the lives we live after high school. We shared jokes and gossip like the old times. It was crazy in a fun sort of way.
April 6th
Second Alumni Meeting
In the morning we had our second alumni meeting. I wasn't present in the first because I had to enroll for summer classes. We were at the plaza together with the rest of our batchmates. Earl gave us chocolates. At least those whom he wishes to give. Unexpectedly, a group of guys pushed a homeless crazy woman to the plaza fountain (I don't have another word for it). It was so mean. We like to help but were afraid to approach her. In the afternoon, we (Clariz, Winston, Reyner, Earl and me) went to Ma'am Joy, our third-year adviser and chemistry teacher. Going back to her small office cum library was going back to our past. The entire room is a big box chuck full of memories. Our old projects and our class pin-ups with our pictures and descriptions. Our batch's pin-ups was the only one Ma'am Joy saved from all of her classes. That was nice. We printed the invites with the help of Ma'am Joy. Printing on a stencil is hard because you have to be exact on the adjustments or the print-outs will be ruined. We talked about a lot of things. We ate saging prito, chippy and coke. I told you we were gluttons. We left when it started to rain but didn't go home yet. We had to wait for Earl, which took forever just to go home and get something. we went home after he came back.
April 7th
More than Just a Beach Picnic
The day before we decided to go on a picnic. I went out to buy several liters of Coke and utensils. I forgot to bring some. Memory Gap! LOL We were Marion, Ethel, Clariz, Winston, Jacob, Nouriza, Debralyst, Jehza, Earl, me and Ma'am Lena, our fourth-year adviser and advance chemistry teacher. Everyone took a dip except Ma'am Lena, Marion, Ethel, and Nouriza, who will go to Zamboanga pa. After Ma'am left, Marion, Ethel and I talked about 'Chika Ever'. Marion said he was so dissapointed because he said he loved 'Chika Ever' and now 'CE' is OUT, as in OUT. Go figure. How can you handle it when the one you loved or even liked then now loves the same kind you do or is the same as you are? To be clearer, You're a gay or a girl who fell in love or liked a guy then that guy turned out to be gay (as well). The guy just needed a little prompting. Another thing, what if he has more boyfriends than you do or have? It's crazy! Winston came back and added a few details to the story. I won't discuss it here na. My question lang after this is, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG TO REALIZE IT, HONEY?! Point blank, we knew he was gay all along but since he evaded the issue and continually denied the allegations, we called it quits discussing it. This makes me remember what Sir Halili said, does he really have something to reveal? Everybody knows that he's that way eversince and everybody is fine with it. The flower has now bloomed. They all went home except us three. We walked along the way while waiting for Winston and Earl to return. Winston came back and Ethel went with him. Marion and I decided to ride a tryci and not to wait for Earl anymore. I was tired. We went home.
April 8th
Third Alumni Meeting
We went to Raihana's house again for a meeting. My tummy hurts. I think becuase of PMS. Darn! I want to sleep. We thought of a design for our batch shirt and wrote an ad for the cable ad service. That was it. Next meeting will be on Wednesday. I'm done for the week.
Punctuality is something my former high school classmates won't ever learn. They're so hopeless.
{ music } Dance With My Father
{ book } Chick Lit
{ show } my memories
{ mood } nostalgic
We chatted (?) about it and here it is--unscripted and unedited. DISCLAIMER: Contains other things than Pupung being gay and loving it. LOL Si Earl? Haha
Zette (5/8/2002 3:53:13 AM): eow, punga.
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:53:45 AM): Haller zette!!
Zette (5/8/2002 3:54:06 AM): me load ka ha. hehe
Zette (5/8/2002 3:54:14 AM): me class ka pa?
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:55:03 AM): Wala na.. Mamaya pang 3 p.M.. Math.. Ang strict ng teacher.. On line ka ngaun?
Zette (5/8/2002 3:55:17 AM): yup...
Zette (5/8/2002 3:56:16 AM): onlyn ka na?
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:56:24 AM): hahahaha
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:56:26 AM): i'm here
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:56:42 AM):
Zette (5/8/2002 3:56:46 AM): iba na talaga ang me laptop... hehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:56:58 AM): chika!!!
Zette (5/8/2002 3:57:11 AM): nandyan na si ton2x?
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:57:22 AM): libre lang kaya ung internet ko
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:57:24 AM): wala
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:57:29 AM): nandun ata sa dorm nya
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:57:55 AM): awww
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:58:11 AM): ang tanong mo pala kung here na sya dumaguete
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:58:12 AM): well
Zette (5/8/2002 3:58:13 AM): can i ask you a serious Q?
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:58:14 AM): yes
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:58:18 AM): what?
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:58:20 AM): sure
Zette (5/8/2002 3:58:27 AM): game ka ba?
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:58:37 AM): game for what?
Zette (5/8/2002 3:58:52 AM): sa tanong ko...
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:59:09 AM): parang i sense na kung ano yung question mo
Zette (5/8/2002 3:59:14 AM): wait lang ha...
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:59:33 AM): sumagdang thing ba yan
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:59:38 AM): sumama ka ba dun?
Zette (5/8/2002 3:59:41 AM): okay... here it goes...
Zette (5/8/2002 3:59:50 AM): yeah, nandun ako...
Pupung (5/8/2002 3:59:52 AM): go
Zette (5/8/2002 4:00:01 AM): wait...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:00:04 AM): question pls
Zette (5/8/2002 4:00:09 AM): do you have anything to say then?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:00:20 AM): wala naman
Zette (5/8/2002 4:00:31 AM): are you OUT?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:00:39 AM): me?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:00:41 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:00:42 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:00:45 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:00:53 AM): funny
Zette (5/8/2002 4:00:54 AM): yup you...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:01:03 AM): seriously...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:04 AM): y u asking that?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:07 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:01:22 AM): because i want it to come out sa'yo diretso...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:32 AM): because your such a dear friend to me
Zette (5/8/2002 4:01:34 AM): it's not a laughing matter...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:37 AM): well
Zette (5/8/2002 4:01:40 AM): well, it is, kinda...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:44 AM): yes
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:48 AM): i'm out
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:01:55 AM): coming out pa
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:00 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:03 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:02:07 AM): now what?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:22 AM): from whom have heard it?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:31 AM): ala lang
Zette (5/8/2002 4:02:38 AM): from evryone...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:44 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:46 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:02:49 AM): it's THE topic
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:02:57 AM): really
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:01 AM): kakahiya naman
Zette (5/8/2002 4:03:02 AM): as in THE topic
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:08 AM): is it bad?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:03:16 AM): no
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:20 AM): or should I go back in?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:03:24 AM): LOl
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:28 AM): withdraw!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:30 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:32 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:03:37 AM):
Zette (5/8/2002 4:03:45 AM): pwede ba yun?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:03:47 AM): i have to be real
Zette (5/8/2002 4:03:58 AM): i have another question...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:04:07 AM): i didn't want myself to be like this
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:04:20 AM): pero ganon na tlga
Zette (5/8/2002 4:04:27 AM): what took you so long?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:04:40 AM): I was still confused
Zette (5/8/2002 4:05:04 AM): mga 1o years ka atang confused eh...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:05:09 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:05:36 AM): kasi nagkakagusto pa rin ako sa babae
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:05:36 AM): kaya lang yung mga kilos ko nagmamanifest ng kabadingan
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:05:36 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:05:38 AM): 10 years nga
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:05:38 AM): pero
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:05:42 AM): i'm still the same
Zette (5/8/2002 4:06:02 AM): is it true about the boys?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:06:12 AM): what about them?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:06:22 AM): your prince charming...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:06:31 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:06:32 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:06:42 AM): eugene
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:06:45 AM): nick name nya lang un sa room
Zette (5/8/2002 4:06:47 AM): ryan
Zette (5/8/2002 4:06:56 AM): sino pa ba?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:06:57 AM): un lang yung tawag ko sa kanya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:07:08 AM): ryan is a good friend of mine
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:07:17 AM): 'babi nga tawag ko sa kanya
Zette (5/8/2002 4:07:28 AM): meaning what?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:07:31 AM): kapatid ung turing ko sa kanya
Zette (5/8/2002 4:07:34 AM): ano yung babi?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:07:37 AM): baboy!!
Zette (5/8/2002 4:07:46 AM): bad ka pa rin...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:07:49 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:07:58 AM): ako pa nga ang tumutulong kay ryan na manligaw sa crush nya
Zette (5/8/2002 4:08:07 AM): ano man yan kauri mo na si zoilo?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:08:12 AM): eewww
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:08:13 AM): na deceive kayo
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:08:23 AM): mali ung info na nakuha nyo
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:08:45 AM): out nga kayo pero
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:08:56 AM): walang boys noh
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:08:59 AM): palease
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:09:05 AM): studies first
Zette (5/8/2002 4:09:10 AM): so lay it on the line...tell me everything... if you may...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:09:22 AM): sure
Zette (5/8/2002 4:09:25 AM): go...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:09:37 AM): si eugene tawag ko sa kanya prince charming
Zette (5/8/2002 4:09:43 AM): y?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:09:45 AM): kasi si clint
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:09:54 AM): bading si clint
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:10:03 AM): parati cla magkasama ni eugene
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:10:16 AM): one day sa ROTC office
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:10:21 AM): nagduty si clint
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:10:34 AM): na mamop sya ng floor
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:10:50 AM): tapos pinagtawanan namin si clint
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:07 AM): tapos sabi nya feeling nya daw sya si cinderella
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:15 AM): in relation to eugene
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:21 AM): parati nga cla magkasam
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:28 AM): kaya cinderella
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:33 AM): and prince charmng
Zette (5/8/2002 4:11:34 AM): ah k.. gets ko na sya...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:44 AM): oh da ba
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:11:57 AM): ano pang clarification?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:12:09 AM): what about si infection, the zoilo period...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:12:18 AM): wala lang un
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:12:25 AM): si zoilo ang lumapit
Zette (5/8/2002 4:12:28 AM): nagun you're in the same league...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:12:31 AM): at ako ang umiwas
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:12:48 AM): eeewww!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:12:55 AM): hindi noh
Zette (5/8/2002 4:12:58 AM): pareho na ang federasyon nyo...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:11 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:13 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:16 AM): kinda
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:20 AM): pervert lang sya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:24 AM): at matino ako
Zette (5/8/2002 4:13:34 AM): si marion nawindang sa'yo...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:36 AM): and sex is a big NO NO
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:44 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:13:45 AM): Brokeback LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:46 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:55 AM): napanood ko yon!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:13:57 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:14:10 AM): mali talaga yung info nyo
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:14:19 AM): paano nyo pala nalaman?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:14:30 AM): gossip of course...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:14:32 AM): I'm amazed
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:14:36 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:14:38 AM): sira na ata radar namin e...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:14:39 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:14:39 AM): who?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:14:58 AM): sadami di ko masabi...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:15:09 AM): hay nako
Zette (5/8/2002 4:15:17 AM): marion said kasi na,
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:15:24 AM): baka naman masira na ung image ko dyan
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:15:35 AM): i'm still decent
Zette (5/8/2002 4:15:36 AM): crush ka daw niya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:15:42 AM): and 100% virgin
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:15:56 AM): never been touched
Zette (5/8/2002 4:16:06 AM): tapos ang dating pinagpapantasyahan niya, kauri na niya ngayon
Zette (5/8/2002 4:16:09 AM): how sad!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:16 AM): hehehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:21 AM): ayaw nya un
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:27 AM): brokeback ang dating
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:32 AM): who knows
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:39 AM): magkagusto pa ako sa kanya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:42 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:43 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:16:58 AM): joke
Zette (5/8/2002 4:16:58 AM): di ba nga, nagtext siya sa tapos sabi niya sa yo lang daw siya magkakaroon ng satisfaction...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:17:12 AM): hahahahaha
Zette (5/8/2002 4:17:16 AM): jerjer... brokeback na brokeback...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:17:22 AM): kalog gud ni si marion!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:17:30 AM): jerjer!???
Zette (5/8/2002 4:17:33 AM): sinbi mo pa...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:17:33 AM): hmmmm
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:17:37 AM): never!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:17:50 AM): hdi tlga
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:18:01 AM): ang daming zoilo dito noh
Zette (5/8/2002 4:18:08 AM): sus, regency lang un ni marion ung jerjer...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:18:19 AM): as in kwento lang niya, a fantasy...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:18:22 AM): maniwala ka o hindi
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:18:40 AM): ang gagwapo pa naman
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:02 AM): so straight ang dating pero may b.f.
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:05 AM): da ba
Zette (5/8/2002 4:19:08 AM): sa girl virgin ka pa?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:10 AM): atleast ako wala
Zette (5/8/2002 4:19:10 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:22 AM): and nevr will have one
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:25 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:25 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:28 AM): ganon na nga
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:31 AM): of course
Zette (5/8/2002 4:19:43 AM): may news ako...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:19:49 AM): what?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:20:04 AM): what news?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:05 AM): pero sa good friday ko pa i-confirm ha...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:12 AM): si earl...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:18 AM): ay...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:20:23 AM): about hu?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:25 AM): mag-...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:20:25 AM): kay earl?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:20:36 AM): ano?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:40 AM): papari na daw...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:20:40 AM): o
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:20:46 AM): hahahaha
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:49 AM): LOL
Zette (5/8/2002 4:20:53 AM): totoo...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:21:00 AM): siya nagsabi...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:21:07 AM): well...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:21:15 AM): ang daming molestation cases ang pari
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:21:23 AM): eeewww!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:21:29 AM): pervert ang mga pari
Zette (5/8/2002 4:21:32 AM): malalaman lang din natin kung itutuloy niya talaga sa friday...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:21:55 AM): yun nga e, sabi ko na yan kay earl kaya lang di naman daw siya bisto na bading...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:21:59 AM): as if...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:04 AM): sabi ng amerikano kong classmates, ginagalaw daw ng mga pari ang mga lalake dun
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:17 AM): hmm
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:22 AM): si earl naman
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:25 AM): isa pa yan
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:48 AM): medyo na-u-uhaw na sa lalake
Zette (5/8/2002 4:22:51 AM): nag-out si earl nung fourth year...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:55 AM): well, ako
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:22:59 AM): never thirsty
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:23:02 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:23:06 AM): ikaw nagyon sa freshmen natin sa college...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:23:18 AM): sino kaya ang next?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:23:18 AM): got plenty of good friends with everywhere
Zette (5/8/2002 4:23:20 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:23:28 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:23:44 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:23:57 AM): My family accepted it naman eh
Zette (5/8/2002 4:24:05 AM): good for you...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:24:09 AM): cnabi ko na sa kanila
Zette (5/8/2002 4:24:13 AM): alam na naman ata nila..
Zette (5/8/2002 4:24:27 AM): they just waited na ikaw talaga yung magsabi...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:24:28 AM): no they don't
Zette (5/8/2002 4:24:36 AM): really?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:24:44 AM): sabi nila bata pakasi ako raw
Zette (5/8/2002 4:24:48 AM): sa amin kasi sa rizal, ganun...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:24:56 AM): hehehehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:24:58 AM): bad!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:24:59 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:06 AM): we waited for you outing.
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:08 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:25:10 AM): pinag-i-intigahan nyo ako
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:25 AM): people talk pung...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:25:32 AM): hahahahaha
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:35 AM): we just listen...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:25:35 AM): it's okay
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:43 AM): and talk back...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:44 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:25:47 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:25:50 AM): well
Zette (5/8/2002 4:25:56 AM): we love you pung...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:25:56 AM): at least
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:01 AM): alam nyo na ngaun
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:06 AM): okay lang naman un
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:11 AM): wala namang mawawala
Zette (5/8/2002 4:26:15 AM): it's okay...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:25 AM): ohhhhhh
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:30 AM): touch naman ako nyan
Zette (5/8/2002 4:26:35 AM): it's not a sin to be feminine in nature...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:39 AM): i love you all din
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:43 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:26:45 AM): i know
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:27:03 AM): i've learn it all in religion
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:27:09 AM): kaya I decided to be out
Zette (5/8/2002 4:27:20 AM): I'm so happy now that your officially one of us na...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:27:25 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:27:30 AM): hahahahahaha
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:27:34 AM): girl power!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:27:43 AM): or feeling girl power!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:27:46 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:27:50 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:28:07 AM): paminsan lang kasi
Zette (5/8/2002 4:28:14 AM): wat?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:28:15 AM): it's big deal for most people
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:28:22 AM): ang sama ng tingin
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:28:31 AM): intrigahin ka
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:28:40 AM): being gay
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:28:53 AM): feeling ko deviant tuloy ako
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:29:04 AM): hindi naman
Zette (5/8/2002 4:29:08 AM): thank god for brokeback mountain, ithink it's an eye-opener sa society...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:29:20 AM): wala naman akong masamang ginagawa
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:29:28 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:29:30 AM): rustom ikaw ba yan?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:29:32 AM): brokeback!!
Zette (5/8/2002 4:29:37 AM): ROFL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:29:39 AM): hahahaha
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:29:54 AM): hindi ako nanononood ng PBB
Zette (5/8/2002 4:29:55 AM): *ROTFL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:30:02 AM): wla akong T.v.
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:30:17 AM): what's ROTFL?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:30:19 AM): i can't live without TV...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:30:31 AM): rolling on the floor laughing
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:30:40 AM): ohhhh
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:30:41 AM): i c
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:30:48 AM): i learned something
Zette (5/8/2002 4:30:53 AM): it's a metaphor...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:01 AM): parang sanay na sanay ka na ata mag-chat eh
Zette (5/8/2002 4:31:18 AM): i try to be sanay...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:31:32 AM): my classmates are so digital grabe...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:33 AM): making it a hobby ha
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:34 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:38 AM): as in
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:40 AM): dito
Zette (5/8/2002 4:31:42 AM): no...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:43 AM): grabe
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:45 AM): my classmates
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:31:50 AM): are so rich
Zette (5/8/2002 4:32:02 AM): as in filthy rich...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:32:10 AM): ang classmates ko
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:32:14 AM): yes!!!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:32:27 AM): kaya lang karamihan stupid
Zette (5/8/2002 4:32:29 AM): okay lang...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:32:40 AM): mga classmates ko smart...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:32:44 AM): may kaya...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:32:56 AM): lalo na taga-chiong hua...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:33:02 AM): grabeh...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:33:06 AM): pero sa Nursing mga smart kame
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:33:21 AM): Phil Science High School kaya yung mga kalaban ko dito
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:33:25 AM): shiyet!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:33:31 AM): ang tatalino!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:33:43 AM): Dgte Science High School pa
Zette (5/8/2002 4:33:44 AM): kaya lang yan...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:03 AM): ah, syempre, kakayanin natin yan
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:12 AM): BNHS graduate kaya tau
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:32 AM): prod
Zette (5/8/2002 4:34:33 AM): do it for urself, your honor...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:36 AM): proud
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:43 AM): stand high
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:47 AM): yah
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:34:55 AM): but primarily
Zette (5/8/2002 4:34:57 AM): not just for the school...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:35:03 AM): i'm doing it for my family
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:35:12 AM): especially to my mum
Zette (5/8/2002 4:35:24 AM): okay kayo ng dad mo?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:35:30 AM): yah!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:35:35 AM): sabi nya nga sa akin
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:35:45 AM): kung ganon ka na talaga anak
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:35:51 AM): mahal pa rin kita
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:36:01 AM): kahit babae daw un Junior nya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:36:04 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:36:05 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:36:07 AM): LOL
Zette (5/8/2002 4:36:15 AM):
Zette (5/8/2002 4:36:43 AM): hirap ng lugar mo, junior ka na nga, junior pa ng sundalo...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:36:46 AM): ouch!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:37:15 AM): okay lang
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:37:25 AM): i'm texting him now nga eh
Zette (5/8/2002 4:37:31 AM): ano sabi ng kuya mo?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:37:34 AM): nagpapabili ako ng shoes
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:37:40 AM): at wristwatch
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:37:54 AM): ang atm no. yan ung nasa card zette noH?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:38:00 AM): help nga
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:38:04 AM): wala lang
Zette (5/8/2002 4:38:13 AM): apos babihin mo pink ang kulay ng shoes...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:38:25 AM): pati watch...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:38:29 AM): he
Zette (5/8/2002 4:38:32 AM): tapos may blaklak...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:38:33 AM): white
Zette (5/8/2002 4:38:46 AM): anong atm ba yan?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:39:00 AM): metrobank
Zette (5/8/2002 4:39:00 AM): kung lang bank oo, yung nasa card...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:39:17 AM): pareho ata lang yan...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:39:24 AM): ibigay mo na lang...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:39:49 AM): okay
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:41:34 AM): hay tumawag pa ako sa bahay
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:41:46 AM): 'kay ung account no. ko
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:41:50 AM): missing
Zette (5/8/2002 4:41:59 AM): bakit?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:42:02 AM): BRB
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:42:03 AM): nag-open ako ng credit card zette
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:42:11 AM): extension lang kay mami
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:42:16 AM): hehehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:42:24 AM): okay
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:44:12 AM): alam mo ba zette
Zette (5/8/2002 4:44:16 AM): ano?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:44:22 AM): ngayon na out na ako
Zette (5/8/2002 4:44:29 AM): ano man?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:44:30 AM): my family knows about it
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:44:48 AM): and feeling ko
Zette (5/8/2002 4:44:49 AM): ano nga?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:44:55 AM): mas loved ako ngaun
Zette (5/8/2002 4:45:02 AM): bakit?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:45:05 AM): and more accepted
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:45:19 AM): malambing na sila sa akin
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:45:26 AM): hindi na nila ako pinapagalitan
Zette (5/8/2002 4:45:40 AM): wow... pampered
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:45:45 AM): hindi na kame nag-aaway-away
Zette (5/8/2002 4:45:56 AM): ganyan kasi ginagawa sa mga anak na dalaga...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:45:58 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:03 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:11 AM): dalaga
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:19 AM): bonita
Zette (5/8/2002 4:46:19 AM): how about kuya mo?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:27 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:46:28 AM): ano sabi niya?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:30 AM): okay lang sa kanya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:40 AM): he was the first to know about it
Zette (5/8/2002 4:46:47 AM): ganun...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:46:55 AM): sabi nya okay lang daw yun
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:47:07 AM): basta wag lang daw masyadong malandi
Zette (5/8/2002 4:47:12 AM): LOL
Zette (5/8/2002 4:47:19 AM): malandi ha...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:47:19 AM): di rin naman ako malandi eh
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:47:22 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 4:47:26 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:47:29 AM): yah
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:47:35 AM): hindi nga
Zette (5/8/2002 4:47:46 AM): bigaun lang...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:47:50 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:04 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:05 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:05 AM): hindi kaya
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:15 AM): hinde iyo raskona!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:15 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:27 AM): still the same pa rin ako
Zette (5/8/2002 4:48:40 AM): tinanggal mo ung pics nina ryan at eugene sa friendster nu?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:48:40 AM): ang pinagka-iba lang
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:49:02 AM): wala nga ako naglagay!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:49:10 AM): chika ka!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:49:37 AM): 3 months kaya ako hindi nag-open ng friendster!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:49:47 AM): pero last week nag-open ata ako
Zette (5/8/2002 4:49:48 AM): sabi ni ethel nakita daw niya tapos pagkatingin ko nung isang araw wala na... akala ko meron sabi kasi ni ethel...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:50:02 AM): or this week ba yun
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:50:07 AM): wala uy
Zette (5/8/2002 4:50:14 AM): hmph...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:50:22 AM): ilagay mo...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:50:25 AM): ngaung summer lang ako nagka-internet dito
Zette (5/8/2002 4:50:37 AM): tignan ko ung tsura nila...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:50:44 AM): hindi na nga ako nag-i-internet sa library
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:50:55 AM): kc parati kameng may exam sa nursing
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:51:01 AM): major pa ha
Zette (5/8/2002 4:51:15 AM): cige na po...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:51:20 AM): more than 100 pages ung pinag-a-aralan namin tapos
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:51:26 AM): 50 items lang pala
Zette (5/8/2002 4:51:31 AM): opo...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:51:51 AM): wait
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:51:57 AM): ilalagay ko sa side
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:53:29 AM): wait lang
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:53:35 AM): naghahanap pa ako
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:53:41 AM): feeling ko kasi wala
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:53:44 AM): wait lang
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:53:52 AM): sa phone na lang ako kukuha
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:54:04 AM): mag blue tooth muna ako
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:56:45 AM): ho kita mo na?
Zette (5/8/2002 4:56:50 AM): ano nasan na?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:57:02 AM): wait
Zette (5/8/2002 4:57:13 AM): hindi ko po makita...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:57:18 AM): ayan
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:57:30 AM): dalawa lang kameng lalake dyan
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:57:39 AM): ung nasa tabi ko
Zette (5/8/2002 4:58:26 AM): pwede na...
Zette (5/8/2002 4:58:30 AM): si ryan?
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:58:54 AM): yupp
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:58:59 AM): friends lang naman kame
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:59:06 AM): as in close na close
Zette (5/8/2002 4:59:12 AM): eh si eugene...
Pupung (5/8/2002 4:59:19 AM): pic nya
Zette (5/8/2002 4:59:32 AM): pahingi pic ni eugene...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:00:17 AM): wait
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:00:31 AM): hahanap pa ako
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:01:50 AM): this picture is funny
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:01:57 AM): but it doesn't mean anything
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:02:04 AM): just a friendly hug
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:02:09 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:02:15 AM): yan lang kasi meron
Zette (5/8/2002 5:02:33 AM): ang tagal mag-load...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:02:45 AM): malaki kasi
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:02:53 AM): galing pa yan sa digicam
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:02:58 AM): wait lang
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:03:07 AM): natanggal ang connector
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:04:24 AM): ang tagal!!!
Zette (5/8/2002 5:04:46 AM): almost half na...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:04:49 AM): hay naku...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:04:53 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:05:10 AM): look at my picture frame on the side
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:05:26 AM): you see that picture?
Zette (5/8/2002 5:05:36 AM): hindi. its just white
Zette (5/8/2002 5:05:39 AM): bank
Zette (5/8/2002 5:05:44 AM): blank
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:06:18 AM): yan?
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:06:50 AM): kita mo na?
Zette (5/8/2002 5:07:26 AM): hindi pa rin...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:07:52 AM): exit mo muna ang instant message tpos balik k lng
Zette (5/8/2002 5:08:08 AM): okay...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:09:01 AM): send mo ulit yung pic...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:09:07 AM): di ko pa rin makita...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:09:11 AM): send na dal;i...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:09:14 AM): hehehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:09:19 AM): wait
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:10:25 AM): brush muna ako teeth
Zette (5/8/2002 5:11:22 AM): go ahead, i will go muna somewhere.. brb
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:11:33 AM): that's eugene
Zette (5/8/2002 5:11:47 AM): hindi claro...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:11:53 AM): huh?
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:12:00 AM): claro kaya yan
Zette (5/8/2002 5:12:08 AM): ulitin mo kaya....
Zette (5/8/2002 5:12:17 AM): blured siya...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:12:22 AM): may box box
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:12:42 AM): hintay m na lang madownload yan
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:13:03 AM): powder room muna ako
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:13:06 AM): brb
Zette (5/8/2002 5:17:48 AM): kita ko na siya...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:17:52 AM): pwede na rin...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:18:17 AM): i'm back
Zette (5/8/2002 5:18:39 AM): i'm having diarrhea...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:18:48 AM): joke...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:22:57 AM): hoy
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:03 AM): dyan ka pa
Zette (5/8/2002 5:23:08 AM): opo...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:11 AM): mahina signal ng internet
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:16 AM): nawawala wala
Zette (5/8/2002 5:23:23 AM): hindi man sa akin...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:23:29 AM): okay lang...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:30 AM): sa akin
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:42 AM): ayan na ung mga pic
Zette (5/8/2002 5:23:47 AM): malapit na class mo di ba?
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:49 AM): yan lang yun
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:23:54 AM): d only ones i have
Zette (5/8/2002 5:24:07 AM): sabi ko nga ppwede na di ba...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:24:14 AM): napinakakaintrigahan ninyo
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:24:14 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:24:28 AM): hehehehe
Zette (5/8/2002 5:24:29 AM): i-post ko siya sa blog ko...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:24:32 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:24:37 AM): sure
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:24:42 AM): lagay mo dun
Zette (5/8/2002 5:24:52 AM): ang mga lalake sa buhay ni pupung
Zette (5/8/2002 5:24:56 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:03 AM): mga close guy friends ni punga
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:05 AM): lol
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:07 AM): loka!!!
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:18 AM): wala clang potential!!!
Zette (5/8/2002 5:25:25 AM): grabe ka ha...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:25:32 AM): defensive...
Zette (5/8/2002 5:25:36 AM): uyyy....
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:42 AM): hehehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:47 AM): okay lang din naman
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:25:59 AM): pwede naman natin clang pagbigyan
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:03 AM): pero no no
Zette (5/8/2002 5:26:04 AM): binawi, iba na yan...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:08 AM): friends lang tla
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:16 AM): meron na yan mga yan'
Zette (5/8/2002 5:26:20 AM): okay okay...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:26 AM): mga friends ko rin
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:29 AM): haller
Zette (5/8/2002 5:26:33 AM): pero di pa naman kasal di ba?
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:35 AM): may class na ako
Zette (5/8/2002 5:26:36 AM): LOL
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:42 AM): lol
Zette (5/8/2002 5:26:44 AM): alam ko...
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:44 AM): inutil
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:26:45 AM): hehehe
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:27:00 AM): no same-sex marriage in phil
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:27:03 AM): 'anyway
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:27:07 AM): babothc
Zette (5/8/2002 5:27:12 AM): di punta kayo nederlands
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:27:15 AM): babotch
Pupung (5/8/2002 5:27:28 AM): eeeww!!! bye ti bye na
Zette (5/8/2002 5:27:31 AM): ano punta ka sa class mo?
Zette (5/8/2002 5:27:37 AM): sige bye bye...
The following are the boys currently being linked to Pupung. Enjoy!
Si Pupung yung naka-green shirt and the other guy is Eugene, THE Prince Charming. Walang malisya sa pic, close friends lang daw talaga sila.
Yung lalake sa tabi ni Pupung si Ryan.
So guys and gals (Rizalians '05), this is Pupung. He is out and he is happy.
{ music } Catch Your Wave
{ book } Angels and Demons
{ show } The Gospel of Judas
{ mood } geeky
It's Saturday--a Black Saturday. It's not literally black nor the least gloomy. It's the day before I go back to my other life--the life of a struggling Accountancy student. Summer Class '06 is to start on the 17th and I'm loony about it.
The "'Chika Ever' RUMOR" is still going on. As I'm writing this, I just finished another conference about it with the cause--Pupung and for the lack of a better word, the lovers--Ton2x and Ethel. Once and for all, live and let live.
Last Wednesday, we had our third Alumni meeting. Another not-so-secret was revealed. Another flower has blossomed in the last school year. Let me talk about him as 'Il Cantante'. I've known 'Il Cantante' since Grade 6 but became friends with him later in high school. He has always and will always be one of the few people who makes people sincerely happy. He is so fun to be with. Il mio amico migliore told me a lot of things about him--things that are supposed to be kept within one's soul, things that should not have leaked out especially fron one's self. I am not here to divulge anything because it's not mine to tell. I only hoped that 'Il Cantante' was more careful in telling his secrets and his private affairs. He should've said nothing at all. Yes, it was his to tell but people are gossip and it will not stop. Delicate matters should not be brandished out like a common rag. I'm a liberal but I believe we should impose on ourselves a certain control over matters. Let us understand that people don't mind their own business. We should be responsible of our own dirt. I hope beyond hope that 'Il Cantante' will learn his lesson and not be extremely hurt while doing so.
We went to Raihana's in the afternoon, me and Reyner after visiting the banks which will be closed the day after. We talked about things and yes, of 'Il Cantante'. How can people stop talking if I myself am not? I am kind of self-righteous. What can I do? I love gossips but I tell them this, don't give me a reason to gossip and they just don't. So who's fault is it? It takes two to tango, honey!
{ music } Lover's Moon (Can you believe it?)
{ book } JKR's Half-Bood Prince
{ show } The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
{ mood } irate
It's the third day of the first week of summer school. It's okay.
{ music } Check On It
{ book } my thoughts
{ show } space
{ mood } blah
The first week is finally over. Whew! I just finished three quizzes and passed three assignments.
Since I'm doing Acctg 221 again, I better make it better this time.
My new subjects include Psych 102 and Math 121, Business Psychology and Investment Mathematics.
My new teachers are: gorgeous Ailyn Villa Sabdilon and Benito Rosagaron Jr. Of course, my Acctg teacher is the infamous Ma'am Pena.
I just watched a movie. It's "'D Lucky Ones". Not really topping the standard but it is funny to say the least.
It's ton-ton's birthday. Sheng ri kuai le!
{ music } Brownman Revival
{ book } lyrics
{ show } "'D Lucky Ones"
{ mood } sore
I scanned a book a few months back. It was full of poems, a compilation according to the authors of 20th century lit. If you are as I am, you wouldn't find a familiar poet except for one or two. I noticed Neruda was in it, that was it. There were pictures and diagrams that I never could understand why they are there in the first place. It's a book of poems not an engineer's file. Crazy! This was supposed to be 20th century lit and not before-BC-work-of-insanity.
Crazy, yes it was but...
I found the the madness appealing. At least to a certain person. The poet/writer who goes by the name of Henri Michaux. It was my first time to know him and read his works. According to littlebluelight.com, he explored every internal human experience through his writings.
Michaux's Themes: Anguish of man's internal universe and the threat a hostile outside world poses to an individual's identity and authenticity. A complete exploration man's mind and spirit - from spiritual transcendence to the abyss.
and Style: Dreamlike, fantastic and often surreal imagery dominate his work, but these images aim to provide a lucid, almost scientific, depiction of man's spirit rather than evade the reality of the external world as the Surrealists did when using similar imagery. In his work we encounter sex with insects, drug induced hallucinations akin to the religious ecstasy of the saints and short aphoristic comments on everything from morality to the character of different Asian nationalities. There are spurts of humor and emotion but they act to distance the reader from his sentiments. Michaux thought that one must protect oneself to see more clearly. There is very little that looks like poetry in Michaux's work, yet its poetic force and vision can't be denied.
Some examples...
He who knows how to shave the razor, will know how to erase the eraser.
We see nothing, except what is so unimportant to see. Nothing, and yet we tremble. Why?
- I am Writing to You From a Far Off Country
There isn't one "I." There aren't ten "I"s. There is no I. I is only a balancing point.
- I am Writing to You From a Far Off Country
All knowledge creates new ignorance.
All consciousness, a new consciousness.
Every new contribution creates new nothingness.
- Plume - Afterword
He who hides his madman, dies voiceless.
- Slices of Knowledge
He who has rejected his demons badgers us to death with his angels.
- Slices of Knowledge
{ music } Hey ya
{ book } Eleven Minutes
{ show } the abyss
{ mood } stressed
I went to bed feeling guilty. I don't why. Maybe I do know but am too dumb to realize it even if it's staring at me in the face. It sucks. Or maybe I don't want to make a fuss out of something I can't and won't ever change.
I'm a monster. I'm the epitome of Dr. Jekyll/Mr.Hyde. I'm a bad person. No need for explanations. I know this and yet I refuse to change. To justify this, let me say that yes, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I am an old dog. Take it from me, it's really hard. You may say that maybe I'm not trying hard enough. Yes, perhaps. The truth is, I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of existing. It's been eighteen years and I feel I haven't lived yet.
They killed me. They took my life when I was eight. Now, another child is dead. She's barely two years old. She doesn't know it yet that she is dead but soon she will. I want her to make them pay. I want her to live. I want her to have a life. I'm tired of the hypocrisy and hate.
Yes, that's it. I hate but I can't release it. I'm a hate bomb nearing it's detonation. Minute by minute, second by second. I've read and believe that I need to scream to be heard but I can't do it. I'm afraid.
They made me a monster. Little by little, they made me into something evil. Evil and hate are strong words yet I find them very efficient. Evilive--a person without a life. A person that is me.
I grew up alone most of the time because my mom had to scoop up something for us to eat. I understood when I can't get what I want because we had no extras and yet they say I'm spoiled. How ironic! The manners I have are limited to myself. Even my mother doesn't receive such a thing from me. She was too busy minding me and how we'll live unlike you and them and him. So you say, I need to learn to be concerned, to think of other people when I can't even take care of myself. That I lack good behavior. How dare you! Where were you when I needed to learn these things you say I lack? Why now? Now is already too late. I'm already a monster. You made me a monster! And I let you do this to me. You don't deserve it. I don't deserve this.
Like Maria (Eleven Minutes), I'm looking for true love. A love from you that I can only think of and never feel. I'm so numb already that your petty insults don't hurt anymore. You of all people, humiliate and insult me. How could you? How could you make me hurt this way? If I had a choice, I wouldn't have chosen you as a father. A father will never inflict such hurt to his children. A father knows how it is to be a father. And a father who knows not how to be a father is not a father at all. Your not a father and I hoped you are not mine but you are. It is something I cannot change and I accept it. So I tell you this, I am like this because this is how I was brought up and I can't change it. You could have but but you were too late. And the things you can't change are things you need of accept. Take it or leave it! The choice is now yours.
{ music } ... my voice within
{ book } Some Enchanted Evening
{ show } ... my neurons
{ mood } OUT!
I watched the movie of the same title last night and I can't help but cry. That Paul Nicholls is a really good actor. He pissed me at first because he was so typical but in the end he got me. Very effective portrayal of the guy. Sorry, I forgot his name in the movie. I only remember Jennifer Love Hewitt's character, Samantha.
It was a sad love story. If only...
{ music } some stupid novelty song
{ book } Marejada
{ show } oblivion
{ mood } okay