Nagkalat ang suka sa kwarto. Nagulat ako nakayakap sa kin si Justin. Super tanggal talaga ko ng kamay niya. Grabe lang talaga. Hindi man lang nahiya sa kin. Panalo si Tom and Wesley. Hindi man lang ako nakapagbabay sa mga nagsi-alisan nung umaga. Ubos lahat nung bote ng alak. Marami pang food ang natira. Nagcheck out kami ng 12PM. NagLunch kami sa Sentro sa may Serendra. Greenhills, Eastwood, binisita si Tom. Kumain Terriyaki Boy. Umuwi. Hindi ako makahinga ngayon...
{ mood } sad
Everyday Drama | 1 hollered back
Dr. Ortill
Ganyan talaga kapag naka-anesthesia, nakakaramdam pero, hindi masakit.
And I was there, assisting in her lumpectomy, looking at bloody flesh, and inhaling the smoke from her cautery while my elbows were complaining from retracting, wishing that someone could inject me with just a vial of Lidocaine. Not from the physical pain but from the pointy feeling inside.
How avoidant.
----
It's been 23 days in my rotation, and FINALLY I had been able to assist at a major o.r....an Appendectomy. I can still remember how it is done. I insisted on scrubbing in on this one, just to see their technique. Pretty cool. I wish I could do one.
---
Can this be?
Our radiologists can't explain it. And my groupmate says, the child was not held by anyone while the x-ray was taken. Even so, it would not form a hand.. but will show the bones. (scary music here.)
{ music } Chasing Pavements- Adele
{ book } Case Files- Surgery
{ mood } depressed
Napakasaya ko Mr. T! Hindi ko kaya iblog lahat ng nangyari nung Sabado. Nung nagcelebrate ako ng birthday ko nung Sabado. Ewan ko, siguro, I’m lost for words sa naramdaman kong love sa kin ng mga taong malalapit sa puso ko. Pamilya ko at mga kaibigan ko. Sobrang nakakataba ng puso Mr. T! Hindi ko tinangka na imbitahin lahat ng kakilala ko dahil alam kong hindi magkakasya dun at baka mag-ala Malate yung lugar, pero sa lahat ng inimbita kong nakarating at sa mga humabol ng alas tres pa, at nagparamdam sa kin na mahal nila ko, MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT SA INYONG LAHAT. Kahit sa mga hindi nakarating, salamat pa din. Nagblog si Aubrey tungkol sa mga naganap, visit niyo na lang blog niya. HIndi ko talaga kaya iblog lahat Mr. T! Pasensya ka na. Pictures na lang kaya ko ilagay dito.
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Grabe, hindi ko talaga kaya iexpress kung anong nararamdaman ko sa isang entry o sa sang daang entries. Hindi talaga magiging sapat. Susubukhan kong magblog ng isa pa tungkol dun, SUSUBUKAN KO. Ayun, naramdaman ko talaga gaano ko kamahal ng mga tao. At nung akala kong hindi na rin ako mahal ng ibang tao, I was wrong. Salamat sa alcohol. At salamat sa pagiging totoo nilang kaibigan. Salamat sa lahat. Salamat sa Diyos, sa pamilya ko at sa mga kaibigan ko. Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat 
Kung may sobrang hindi ako makakalimutan nung gabing yun, idadaan ko sa line sa isang kanta na Cry ni Mandy Moore from A Walk To Remember:
“It was then that I realized that forever was in your eyes. The moment I saw you cry…”
Nakakalungkot yung kanta Mr. T! Pero ganun talaga. Alam na alam mo yan Mr. T! Dahil kinwento ko sa yo lahat. Well, tulad nga ng sabi ko sayo dati Mr. T!, kaya kong magmahal hanggang alam kong mahal ako ng taong mahal ko. Hindi ako magsasawang magkwento hanggang kaya ko magkwento. Hanggang may pwedeng ikwento. Hanggang may pwedeng sabihin. Hanggang may pwede ipakita at ipadama. My stories won’t end. Sobrang masaya ko dahil I am surrounded by beautiful people. Mahal na mahal ko lahat kayo at napakasaya ko dahil parte kayo ng buhay ko At may kulang talaga, si Jeffrey! Wah!
Aryt, update you soon Mr. T!
Everyday Drama, Updates, Gayness, Food and Dining, Family | 2 hollered back
Nothing makes a day faster than looking forward to something. And today, what put me through the first half of my day was the fact that me and my friends went out tonight.
This get together was for Joie. To cheer her up from her recent breakup after a 5 year relationship. We (Andrea, Andrew, King, Neli, Joie and I) met up at Rob and had dinner at Don Henrico's, remembering our clerkship experiences. That was the time when we were still students, and from there started comparing our internships at different hospitals. We had a hearty meal, and I felt at home, reconnecting with those I shared a wonderful 4 years of medicine proper with.
After that, we walked to a Karaoke Bar where we sang a mix of vengeful and sentimental songs for Joie. Some, for me. For them, too. I was tipsy and having so much fun, fun, fun, when..
He texted. He says he wants to die. He says I hurt him too much.
It's not the first time he's said that. He does it when I don't text or answer his calls or when I tell him that I don't feel the same. But now, I don't even know what I've done. I was always upfront and honest. And I did try to like him. I tried so hard, that I even DID like him. And he even thought I loved him back already. But it's not enough..
Because I knew the difference when I fell for somebody (who betrayed me instead). Argh. I am being played and twisted by fate.
It's good that work takes so much out of my mind. The brain can only do one thing at a time, and it helps to keep focus on what's in front. In a few hours time, I'll be on track a 32 hour tour of duty, mending other people's bodies when I am so...broken inside.
{ music } Aerosmith - U2
{ book } Surgery Case Files - Toy and Liu
{ mood } troubled and sleepy and wishful
Being a worm would really suck. I mean you live underground, you eat dirt all day, you live by yourself, you do it with yourself, and when it rains you drown in a puddle on your own front porch and when its dry you're already buried in your own grave. It really makes me think where you end up is important.
--
I would like to paint a picture of the Pre-Med effect of college. It literally constantly pokes holes in your dreams like a balloon and tests how much water it will hold before bursting; when you finally trip and its all downhill from there. And when even the tiniest pin prick turns into a big hole when the responsibilities are loaded on you. It makes it clear where these holes are. Even brushing up against little things can lead to catastrophe. The little anomalies that happen in direct violation of my logic can send me off on the wrong path. It's difficult to hold on when things keep slipping away. How am I supposed to continue bearing more weight and responsibility if I can't even control the smallest of leakages? And when your family has little regard for what you really think and nothing ever gets through to them - when nothing you do matters to other people then you do feel like you're the only one holding onto your dreams.
I imagine myself as a foolish child trying to tie down a giant kite in the middle of a monsoon; naive because I'm worried about losing this kite than being struck by lightning. Is this what the calling is about - losing all your senses and grabbing onto a runaway train? I suppose there is some attraction in that but when you look at it from this particular point in time, it seems retarded. But I think the really troubling thing comes when I ask myself, how often do I really come across something this right?
It's different facing your own reality instead of seeing it through at other people's lives. It's different than seeing it on TV shows, news, or the people around you. I wish people would realize this because it gets old listening to the same arguments, the same problems with judgement and poor communication without anything being done to show it. The difference between the "me" when I was in high school and the "me" now is probably this urgency to constantly get better. They say this is the peak "genius" age - that this is the height of most people's genius or brilliance and after, their neurons become less active and you pursue less aggressively towards your goals. The example I commonly hear is, you don't see Bill Gates developing programs anymore after his break of genius, or that crime dips off after this age because people stop feeling like they can get away with crime. And it makes me think, am I pursuing this aggressively enough?
December 3, 2003 and November 11, 2009.
Those dates may never match the Great Sadness in the book The Shack but I will never ever forget those dates because of the pain it brought me.
Looks like my tabulas is going to be sad for quite sometime again. 
"It was like someone had died - like I had died. Because it had been more than just losing the truest true loves, as if that were not enough to kill anyone. It was also losing a whole future, a whole family - the whole life that I'd chosen..."
-New Moon, Stephanie Meyer
{ music } What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
{ mood } crushed
trip down memory lane | 1 hollered back
Still no meteors flashing my way. Only navy blue clouds on an ebony sky. Oh well.
We had a short day at the hospital, there was a mandatory stay-at-the-library memo for all the interns. And so, we sort of had a free duty. I'm happy because we didn't work as hard today, and sad because I didn't have any patients to learn from.
And because I was tired of reading the medical stuff, I took a break and scanned the newspaper. A sociopolitical events expert, I am not. But somehow, I just want to speak out what I was thinking.
Pacquiao fever. Pacquaio in politics.
(Nah. He lost the elections last time, despite his boxing feats. We have become aware that the on-screen champions are a different story when it comes to politics.)
Pacquiao vs. Mayweather
(Lose-lose scenario for Pacquiao. If he says no, Mayweather will have bragging rights. If Pacquiao fights, he'd better win big time, or it'll be the end of his boxing glory)
Manny Villar and Loren Legarda, runningmates...
(Which just ruins their credibility. Manny using Loren's good reputation, and Loren using Manny for his well-oiled campaign machinery. Good luck to both.)
Hacienda Luisita.
(Has gone on long enough. It breaks my spirit to see the plight of the poor, the greed of the rich, and our sick legal system.)
Pacquiao and Jinky fighting due to Krista Ranillo...
(Typical. A full blown disaster.Let them fix it up, and stop the slandering. They are people after all, and no family is ever the cleaner.)
Edu Manzano, running for vice president.
(Game ka na ba? Kami, hindi.)
3 killed and 7 injured at Pasay demolition...
(Why use guns? WHY?! Of course they would protect the mosque, it is their place of worship. A little respect for their religion! There could have been a better way to do it. No wonder some Muslims would think badly about the government. Why fuel their agitation? Why? WHY?!)
New Moon, now showing.
(And dateless. moving on...)
Efren Penaflorida, the CNN hero...
(He's such an inspiration. With him and his group around, there is hope for this nation. WE CAN DO SOMETHING FOR OTHERS IF WE WANTED TO. I wish that aside from voting for him, we would also be encouraged to help the less fortunate. But first of all, let's vote. He deserves to win.)
Now on to the news of my life. I'm learning that some people have interesting stories to tell about their lives. And I am amazed to find out. But amidst all the sharing, I'm still keeping much a secret, sorting is still to be done with my baggages.
{ music } Sugarfree- Huwag ka nang umiyak
{ book } The Lucky One - Nicholas Sparks
{ mood } hungry
91st birthday kahapon ni Lola Rosa. Wish ko lang makita niyo ko diyan sa picture. Hahaha! The Webbs ladies and gentlemen. Kulang pa nga yan eh.
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Everyday Drama, Updates, Family | 1 hollered back